Advice from Oprah about Men

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition(or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man,
before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can't be "friends".
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing on you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "It will get better"
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

You cannot change a man's behaviour, change comes from within.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who have got a bunch of children by a bunch of women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treats you any different?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.

Don't ever make him feel he is more important than you are,
even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god,
he is a man, nothing more, nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.
A man will only treat you the way you alow him to treat you.

Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

You should not be the one doing all the bendings,
cmpromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships, there is nothing cure about baggage...
deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for somene to complete you,
a relationship consists of two whole individuals,
look for someone complimentary, not supplemenatary.

Dating is fun,
even if he doesn't turn out to be mr. right.

The five love languages

1. Words of affirmation

What? Kind, encouraging and humble words to verbalise your appreciation for your partner.

How? "Thanks you for working so hard to make sure the bills get paid on time every month."



2. Quality time

What? Giving your partner undivided attention.

How? Do something together with your spouse, something that he/she enjoys and do it wholeheartedly. Look into each other's eyes when you talk. Watching television together does not count.



3. Presenting gifts

What? Gifts are visual symbols of love. The act of securing the gift is in itself an expression of love.

How? It does not have to be costly. Don't wait for a special occasion. Physical presence in a time of crisis is a powerful gift.



4. Acts of service

What? Doing things you know your spouse would like you to do.

How? Helping with household chores.



5. Physical touch

What? Touching communicates emotional love.

How? Holding hands, touching.


Source: The five languages by Gary Chapman